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Saturday, February 28, 2009
Something all white kids can relate too...
Remember when hip hop lyrics were actually telling a story and not just about rolling whips and getting brain in the club. Well if you forgot enjoy.
Friday, February 27, 2009
The Standard's Associate Tries to Buy Pot......
Dave Fox was missing for a couple days than we found this footage. Enjoy.
Asian Friday!!!!
So this video never really ends, but you can't stop watching it. Its just this fat asian kid dancing. No big funny pay off. He just dances thats it. Try to stop watching it..you can't. Plus when do you see an Asian kid dancing? Really....I don't think I have ever seen one dance. I saw one do karaoke once.
BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.
BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.
Over the Top Ping Pong Celebration....
Sadly this is probaly the biggest moment of this kid's life. He does break it down though with the dance. Kinda.
P.S. Look at audience. What does it tell you? It tells you that Asian people love ping pong. Its a fact. Think about it playing competitive ping pong is hard enough to explain to someone but going to just watch someone play compeptive ping pong is a whole other level. Cheers Asian Ping Pong Watchers for making the guy playing have some sort of dignity.
P.S. Look at audience. What does it tell you? It tells you that Asian people love ping pong. Its a fact. Think about it playing competitive ping pong is hard enough to explain to someone but going to just watch someone play compeptive ping pong is a whole other level. Cheers Asian Ping Pong Watchers for making the guy playing have some sort of dignity.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Ash Wednesday...
Ash Wednesday gets its name from the practice of placing ashes on the foreheads of the faithful as a sign of repentance. The ashes used are gathered after the Palm Crosses from the previous year's Palm Sunday are burned.
"Jesus Forehead Pound!!!"
So today is Ash Wednesday and people across America are getting some Jesus ash put on the forehead to show how bad ass christianity is. I mean how bad ass do you look with some cross made of ash on your forehead? Thats like some medieval battle shit. Cheers to Jesus folks for this legend holiday. Jews have something similar known as Sukkot where they build a shelter and hit branches against themselves in honor of nature. Actually thats not similar at all. Never mind. So if you see a Jesus kid with some ash on his forehead give him a pound on it as I'm guessing thats what they do. I mean I'm not an expert but we here at the Standard pride ourselves on being factual. Did you know for example that Jesus was originally from Indiana?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
This made me laugh....
P.S. I will post an actual post of my own thought rather than just reposting shit I find on the internet....eventually
He's $ (money)
Here at the Standard we have been having some dialogue with one another and have found that we disagree on quite a few things. Example:
"I think we should change our credo to 'wherever there is pussy, the standard is not far'"
"Yea, Gin sucks! Only grandpa's and grandma's like it."
"If its not pussy then it should be whiskey"
"Yea, gin sucks"
DAVEFOX
IS HILARIOUS
CHECK HIM OUT
"Yea, Gin sucks! Only grandpa's and grandma's like it."
"If its not pussy then it should be whiskey"
"Yea, gin sucks"
This conversation goes on until one of us has the balls to punch the other one in the face. Basically the bickering never ends, But one thing we do agree on is that this guy-
DAVEFOX
IS HILARIOUS
CHECK HIM OUT
Friday, February 20, 2009
MC POOH
When I first looked at this album cover I had to make a double take.Is this the SHAQ album I dont have? Yet. No, I have all the SHAQ albums on cassette...Didn't get a Cd player until I got my bar mitzvah money, cha ching$.
Okay but all the jokes aside, what is this album about and what does this rapper, MC Pooh, want his audience to think when they see his album cover?
He wants us to think that MC POOH is the shit.
Any suggestions?
Reasons why I think this album cover didn't hit its mark:
there is just too much to interpret.
(take another look on the right)
- is he showing us where he parties?
- does it smell so bad he needs to wear sunglasses to shade his eyes?
- is he being born?
- is he about to eat it? Eat what? Both? Really?.....
- does MC Pooh have a heel fetish to go along with his appreciation of funky ass?
- this may be blatantly obvious, but is he being poo'ed out?
- is it funky to be poo'ed out of a girl wearing heels?
- is the 'brown eye' blinking?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
President What??
This officially is too amazing on its own for any commentary by the Standard...President.
P.S. Eric Samuels is one bad ass looking President.
P.S. Eric Samuels is one bad ass looking President.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Now that's a scary shit.
I hope that this is photoshopped.
Maybe the lion just likes to watch. Its possible. I had this friend once and he would set up camera's in his parents house and watch his gf take dumps...
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Is Charles Barkley more untouchable than Michael Phelps?
Here at the standard we don't really do any research and usually have no deep thought regarding our posts. But this post is different, this post is serious. I used it, the s word, s-e-r-i-o-u-s. Kinda.
So Phelps, smoked a bong (who hasnt) and his picture was ciruclated through the media. Bad M. Phelps, you shattered so many dreams but then again, you smoked pot and still swim like the world champion. You must still be an exceptional person.
Sir Charles Barkeley, you are obviously drunk every single time you are on TV and you got pulled over and charged for a DUI. You then tried to excuse your actions becasue you were on your way to get the best blow jay ever just around the block.
Above are two seperate cases and this is where I am going to make a little commentary. Phelps, got dumped by Kellog and was told that he disappointed people. Barkeley probably got a movie deal and a small slap on the wrist, maybe paid some money to get his DUI dealt with and he most definitely still got that blow jay.
The point? A DUI can cause death, the death of innocents, the wreckages of properties, and the end of lives.
Smoking a bong, the consequences? A lack of short term memory, red eyes, and an unyielding desire to eat everything in sight no matter how strange it may sound (artichoke dip with cheetos, seriously good).
Phelps should be applauded for not getting a DUI and choosing the society safe alternative, marijuana.
Sir Charles, should not be allowed on TV and should be put in Jail for reckless endangerment thus setting an example to the US that drunk driving is a serious offense.
That's the s word again.
So Phelps, smoked a bong (who hasnt) and his picture was ciruclated through the media. Bad M. Phelps, you shattered so many dreams but then again, you smoked pot and still swim like the world champion. You must still be an exceptional person.
Sir Charles Barkeley, you are obviously drunk every single time you are on TV and you got pulled over and charged for a DUI. You then tried to excuse your actions becasue you were on your way to get the best blow jay ever just around the block.
Above are two seperate cases and this is where I am going to make a little commentary. Phelps, got dumped by Kellog and was told that he disappointed people. Barkeley probably got a movie deal and a small slap on the wrist, maybe paid some money to get his DUI dealt with and he most definitely still got that blow jay.
The point? A DUI can cause death, the death of innocents, the wreckages of properties, and the end of lives.
Smoking a bong, the consequences? A lack of short term memory, red eyes, and an unyielding desire to eat everything in sight no matter how strange it may sound (artichoke dip with cheetos, seriously good).
Phelps should be applauded for not getting a DUI and choosing the society safe alternative, marijuana.
Sir Charles, should not be allowed on TV and should be put in Jail for reckless endangerment thus setting an example to the US that drunk driving is a serious offense.
That's the s word again.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
My cousin Jolly Judd
Judd doesn't have many friends. This one time my mom made me take him to the warf to eat clam chowder. He ate so much they had to close the warf at 2pm for the rest of the day.
I told him that he's so fat that he cant see his dick and he sent me this video-
I told him that he's so fat that he cant see his dick and he sent me this video-
New Seth Rogan Flick
It seems pretty good, has twin asians, drugs and vomit. That's a recipe for success.
Observe and Report
Observe and Report
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
check yourself before you wreck yourself
So this cat is walking through the forest and cant kill shit. He smoked too much pot and had some really good sex the night before and is now so fucking hungry. "fuck it," he tells himself, "im just an addict and i cant live without it."
Apparently this drug, leaves of some shit gets you high and then you can hunt like the jaguar that also uses the drug.
Animals and humans aren't that different after all.
thats some good shit
Apparently this drug, leaves of some shit gets you high and then you can hunt like the jaguar that also uses the drug.
Animals and humans aren't that different after all.
thats some good shit
Saturday, February 7, 2009
At The Standard We Go Hard Tell Em Jay Z....
We asked Jay Z to change Brooklyn to the Standard but he just hung up so yea.
How Bout Dat Music??
How bout it folks???? How bout some new beats and riffs to get dumb to? I recommend checking out these jams.
Ragged Wood- The Fleet Foxes
Crying- Tv On The Radio
When It Wears Off- Overview
Help I'm Alive- Metric
I Got Mine- Black Keys
Blows To The Temple- Common
Gold and A Pager- Cool Kids
Mirando-Ratatat
Friday, February 6, 2009
The Group Pic
Why do girls insist on always taking a group pic together? Is it neccesarry when they pre game that they all take a picture together doing ridiculous poses that would never occur naturally?
If I was with a bunch of guys and said "Hey guys lets all take a group pic and we'll all do crazy poses!!!" two things would happen: First I would get laughed at and Second they would beat the shit out of me in a group while taking pictures.
If I was with a bunch of guys and said "Hey guys lets all take a group pic and we'll all do crazy poses!!!" two things would happen: First I would get laughed at and Second they would beat the shit out of me in a group while taking pictures.
Possibly The Biggest Tool on TV Is.....
ZAK BAGANS
First of all this guy spells his name first name Zak instead of Zach like every other Zach in the world, but no his name is too cool for the CH. I knew a Zak once I think he got into steroids to try and get chicks but just had his balls shrink. Anyways second of all his last name is Bagans. I don't care who you are if your last name is Bagans you either are a Tea Baggin Fanatic or bitch ass bag boy at the grocery store. You do not host a Ghost Hunting Show expecting us to consider you an expert in something that doesen't even exist.
He also talks shit to the ghosts like hes some sort of hard ass. I can't believe I sat through an episode of this shit. This guy talked shit to air on national television and he got paid for it. Bums talk shit to the air all the time and they don't get paid jack. The worst part is there are two other guys who agree with everything this douch says so he probaly goes through life as if he actually accomplishes something. He's also scared half the time and starts to run away. How can this guy be alive? Seriously I feel sorry for his parents. His dad must watch this show and think wow I wish my father was never born so I was never born so this douch of son was never born. Zak Bagans is beyond a tool when I think about it. He's a fuckin Bagans. Any time you see a kid and think wow what a douch just let him know he's a fucking Bagans.
First of all this guy spells his name first name Zak instead of Zach like every other Zach in the world, but no his name is too cool for the CH. I knew a Zak once I think he got into steroids to try and get chicks but just had his balls shrink. Anyways second of all his last name is Bagans. I don't care who you are if your last name is Bagans you either are a Tea Baggin Fanatic or bitch ass bag boy at the grocery store. You do not host a Ghost Hunting Show expecting us to consider you an expert in something that doesen't even exist.
He also talks shit to the ghosts like hes some sort of hard ass. I can't believe I sat through an episode of this shit. This guy talked shit to air on national television and he got paid for it. Bums talk shit to the air all the time and they don't get paid jack. The worst part is there are two other guys who agree with everything this douch says so he probaly goes through life as if he actually accomplishes something. He's also scared half the time and starts to run away. How can this guy be alive? Seriously I feel sorry for his parents. His dad must watch this show and think wow I wish my father was never born so I was never born so this douch of son was never born. Zak Bagans is beyond a tool when I think about it. He's a fuckin Bagans. Any time you see a kid and think wow what a douch just let him know he's a fucking Bagans.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Funky Fresh of the Week
Screw that M&M guy, this dude is for real. The real white boy hip hop. I'm waiting for his world tour to come around, its called, "Killa Kilbasa Klan." They are in no way related to the KKK.
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