New York Socialite Tinsley Mortimer
Just looking at Tinsley one can see why we here at The Standard chose her as our pick, but she is so much more than looks alone. Here are a few reasons why she has won our coveted title:
- Her family's lineage traces back to Thomas Jefferson. Thomas fucking Jefferson. Oh your dating that chick from Survivor. Nice. Oh me? I'm dating Thomas Jefferson's Great Great Great Granddaughter. Yea I know. Did I mention she also looks like this? (whip out a picture)
- Her name is Tinsley.
- Her husband is nicknamed Topper. If she married a guy nicknamed Topper she has to have a sense of humor.
- She graduated Columbia. Paris Hilton can't even spell college. Wife Material.
- She embodies the ideals of what everything a Standard man would want in a woman.
In all after months of screening Tinsley was the choice for the Standard and we hope our readers agree. We here at the Standard feel that a true Joseph should embody not just looks, but that "wifey" touch. The Standard would just like to let Tinsley know that if she is reading this and Topper somehow has a yachting accident that we would put a ring on it.
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woah I did NOT know Joseph was standard terminology. I thought that was our word to talk about the ladies behind their backs.
ReplyDeleteJoseph is a special word, please do not oversaturate its use
ReplyDelete- the joey reporter himself.
Joseph is a special word and that is why it is only used for our coveted award
ReplyDeleteif her favorite foods were 7-11 hot dogs followed by a large strawberry milk chug would you still follow her into the bathroom if you were invisible?
ReplyDelete