God Help Us All...Benniganz have made a music video

If you can find a more New Jerseyesq music video, The Standard reporters will all get mystic tans and drink Jaeger bombs until we pass out .




For those who do not know a Benniganz is a slang referring to a stereotype that includes wearing gold chains, working class clothing such as plain T-shirts, muscle shirts, leather jackets, sweat or tracksuits, scally caps, unbuttoned dress shirts, and dress suits. Slicked-back hair or pompadours are also common. Recently, heavily-gelled spiked hair has become a common stereotype. The hairstyle is commonly referred to as the Blowout or Brooklyn Fade, "Brook" for short. The slang term for a Benniganz comes from the east coast resturaunt Bennigans and was made popular by the Hip Hop group Cracked Out.

This group is from Canada by the way and not New Jersey meaning the Benniganz epidemic is spreading into other countries...if that doesn't bother you then that should be the first clue you might be a Benniganz yourself.

The Standard's Senior Reporter Baby Will shows off in NY

Will addresses a crowd for the release party of the Standard in New York

If The Jump Off Were Swedish

Far & Son- Panik


Far & Son - Panik from Splinter Arts on Vimeo.

Big three bailout? nope.

When you think about it, the big three make cars that use a lot of gasoline and have been making them for a while, according to some sources the markup on trucks is huge and highly profitable for the companies that make these automobiles. so lets take a step back because i got ahead of myself. the cars that are produced by these companies encourage excessive oil consumption and its in the best interest to the large oil companies that these cars continue to be used. a non-bailout to the big three would be a punch to big oil also. so inactivity would be a win win.
But what about the people that will lose the jobs? how sad, initially it will be sad but it has potential to be great. why? because there will be so many companies out there that have been dwarfed in the past by the big three that will want to go into full scale production of vehicles that don't suck. don't suck oil and that just don't suck. GM has huge operations all over the world and they could just scale back their huge ass factory in Russia or their international operations.
GM doesn't care about you and doesn't care about America they only care about making money as cheaply as possible. if they can stay in the American market then great for them, if they cant then fuck em, they don't give a shit. they can still make money and operate. if they get bailed out then they can operate cheaper.
To conclude, you should write your senator and tell them to screw big oil by not bailing out the big three.

They need to make this into a video game....The Most Savage of the Savage

READ THE ARTICLE HERE

The Israeli mafia is freaking scary. If you think about other organized crime networks the only network that really compares is the Russian mafia because those dudes are ex-KGB and the KGB are well, the freaking KGB, Soviet Russia's secret police. But even the KGB don't have the experience that the Israeli's bring to organized crime.
The Israeli's, have all been trained by a military, something that you can't say about the Sicilian crime syndicates. They know how to make pizzas and know a good pasta but when it comes down to hitman strategies, evasion tactics, and financial intricacies they don't have squat on the Israelis. They Israelis have all been enlisted in the military, its mandatory if you are an Israeli citizen that you will serve a minimum 3 years, and its guaranteed that you have survived at least one war if you were in the military in the past 3 years and are in the Israeli mafia today.
If you are an ex-member of an elite special forces unit, you only have a few options for a career path and if you don't have a business sense you will make a pretty good goon for a crime family.
Your career options are as follows:

1. Work at a Jewish community center in the United States doing security detail, you have to deal with spoiled Jewish children, their ridiculous mothers, and wimpy Jewish accountants that have only read about what you have done. Bonus, you will have lots of eye candy to take your mind off of your terrible job of showing 16yr old longnoses that you can take them down with one movement of your wrist.
   
2. Work at an embassy in some south American country and find a Latina wife that has no idea what hummus is. No bonus.
   
3. Start your own security service for Hollywood stars which is much like working security detail at the JCC because of the egos and large amount plastic surgery, hey those were small tits last week! Bittersweet bonus, you may find yourself as an extra in a film and then may eventually become a stunt man, which wont last long because you will get hooked on cocaine and fall off the face of the earth.
   
4. The last option and probably the most viable one would be to get hooked up with a job working for a crime family in Israel. the food is familiar, you get to see your parents every shabbat, hummus is virtually everywhere, and you get to do what you are trained to do, its almost second nature. the war games, the following, the stalking, the crazy driving on a moped while shooting your target. its what you love.

So, to really make it stick, the things you (average american) do on GTA somewhat compare to the things that they do in the real world. thus making them, the Israeli Mafia,
THE MOST SAVAGE OF THE SAVAGE.

Seemingly good ideas when your stoned that in actuality are very very bad

Taking a shower- Seems good till you faint because you made the water temp as hot as possible

Going to an all you can eat buffett- Endless amounts of food what could be better? I'll tell you what feels better me not having to puke my guts out because I ate a slice of pizza topped off with jello and macaroni salad

Going on "adventure"- All it takes is a sound from somewhere you can't see and your adventure soon turns into the scariest moment of your life

Watching the Godfather- When stoned your attention span is about 30 seconds long

Getting into a political debate- You may think you sound like Keith Obermann, but in reality you sound like Pauly Shore

The Hipster Male

The Hipster Male Emergence

Definition of a HipsterHipster - One who possesses tastes, social attitudes, and opinions deemed cool by the cool. (Note: it is no longer recommended that one use the term "cool"; a Hipster would instead say "deck.") The Hipster walks among the masses in daily life but is not a part of them and shuns or reduces to kitsch anything held dear by the mainstream. A Hipster ideally possesses no more than 2% body fat. [Source: The Hipster Handbook]

The hipster seems to be everywhere you look these days from a small town in Iowa to their capital of San Francisco. What is a hipster though? Are they just a happy emo kid? The Standard wants to answer this question.

The hipster male can be recognized by their tight pants, american apparel shirt, and hair in the face haircut. Now I have no problems with hipsters as they usually provide ample entertainment and many of the Standard's associates are hipsters. I just sometimes wonder how a hipsters mission seems to let the world know that they are different from everyone else by wearing vintage clothing and listening to bands only they know of yet it seems that it has just become the new fad of our generation much like the grunge fad in the 90s. Does this defeat the whole idea of a hipster? I'll let the readers decide.

Hipster Hangouts: Vintage Clothing Stores, Dive Bars, Other Hipster's Houses

Favorite Activities: Smoking Weed, Listening to Vinyl Records, Taking Pictures of Themselves In "Myspace" Poses

Favorite Magazine: Vice

Clue you are a Hipster Male: You carry a shoulder-strap messenger bag and have at one time or another worn a pair of horn-rimmed or Elvis Costello-style glasses